In this reflective moving meditation, I am taking us on a trail ride through the serene greenery post a heavy snowfall, sharing her personal journey towards finding contentment amidst life’s relentless pace. I’m going to talk about the subtle distinction between rumination and reflection, emphasizing the value of embracing the present moment without the pressure of perfection. Let’s practice some real strategies for identifying and savoring moments of peace, and learn how true contentment emerges not from relentless striving but through gentle acceptance of the now.
Here’s what we’ll practice:
– Contentment Through Acceptance: Understanding that contentment arises from accepting rather than altering our current circumstances.
– Distinguishing Feelings: Recognizing the difference between awe and contentment, and identifying what each emotion brings to our experiences.
– The Role of Environment: The impact of nature and serene environments in fostering a sense of peace and grounding.
– Mindful Practices: The benefits of mindfulness in transforming everyday moments into opportunities for deep contentment.
– Balance Between Striving and Being: How balancing our drive for achievement with moments of stillness can lead to a more fulfilled existence.
Listen to Sonya
Links
- Become one of my clients! Health Coaching | Mental Performance Coaching
- Check out other moving meditations:
– Resilience and Recovery
– Grounding in Nature
– Daily Meditation
– Combat Self-Criticism - Podcast with Oren Jay Sofer I mentioned
If you want to work towards your goals and more, check out my self-paced online course: Moxy & Grit Mindset Academy.
Episode Transcript
Sonya Looney 0:00 Music. Sonya Looney 0:10 Welcome to grow the good. This is a podcast that uncovers the wisdom and potential that we already hold within ourselves others in the world. I’m your host. Sonya Looney, world champion and mental performance coach, as well as keynote speaker and mom to two little kids, and I’m really excited to help you grow the good in yourselves, others and the world. Welcome back to another moving meditation. I am out on the trail for the first time in many weeks because we had a huge snowfall, and it takes a long time for that stuff to go away, but today is my first day back. I call it the green room. I’ll see wet roots everywhere, which some people, is not very exciting to see that, but for me, it’s fun. And bright green moss covering the ground, covering the raw got trees that look like the Grinch. It’s pretty awesome. I just wanted to share where I’m at. Trails. Got some icy spots, but not bad. There’s a stream running right next to me. I’m so grateful to be outside. Have been diligently showing up every day to the trainer, and I love the trainer. I like the efficiency, but I also really like to be outside, because I like to connect with nature. I like the healing effects of that we actually did a moving meditation about nature and awe, if you want to go back and listen, but that’s something I’m always grateful for. Today’s moving meditation is going to be about how we can notice more moments of contentment in our lives. Contentment is something that I think a lot of us want, but don’t really know how to get, and it’s also something that maybe some of us are afraid of because we feel content. What if that takes away our drive, our drive for excellence? And I chose those words on purpose, contentment is something to get. That’s the thing is, contentment isn’t something that we can get. It doesn’t involve always reaching for something. Many of us have very high standards and expectations for ourselves and for others. I’m going to start today. I’m going to stop for a second. There’s this beautiful pool of pool of water, very clear. It’s like amazing to look at, and that’s a moment of contentment for me. It’s not awe, it’s not excited energy. It’s calm, useful, beautiful. Everything is the way it is. So here’s a quote. It’s from Oren J Sofer, who’s written this great book. He was on the podcast. It’s called, your heart is made for this. And he talks about strengths of heart, and he did talk about contentment in his book, which is what gave me this idea. His quote is, contentment won’t arrive through grasping only through letting go. Let that sit with you for a sec. Contentment won’t arrive through grasping only through letting go many of the topics of these moving meditations, not on purpose, but just by what’s in my experience, as I am on my bike trying to share real life mindfulness practices, is that so Much of our troubles come from not wanting to accept the present moment because we wish it was different, or we wish we were different. That’s part of human nature. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing to beat yourself up over. But getting into these moments of letting go without giving in. That’s where some of our true passions can be. Calm energies, calm strength. Contentment is something that we think if I just work harder, I just push myself more, I can just finally get there, then I will feel content, worthy. I can relax. I’ll feel good enough, whatever the thing may be, striving is good. It teaches us who we are. It allows. To pursue our potential and to grow, but if we’re only focusing on the growth, the pushing, sort of itchiness to get there, we miss out on contentment when we get there, we still don’t really feel that contentment we were hoping for. That’s because contentment is around us every single moment of the day, but when we’re rushing busy, gosh, this is my life right now, two little kids working, a husband that travels a lot. I’m always on my edge, my cup is always overflowing, and sometimes I forget to notice that these moments are good. They’re good enough. I’m thinking, Oh, if only I was the perfect mom. I could be more playful. I would be more present, I wouldn’t be rushing. I wouldn’t be sometimes being grumpy, wishing time away for something better, for something easier, to remind myself that I want contentment and I want striving, and sometimes you just gotta put your head down and do the hard work. So how do we get to contentment? Or how do we sit in it? How do we let go so that we can feel it even when things are hard, even when you’re pushing, and I think you can actually feel content while you’re pushing. I think that there would be people who would disagree with that statement, but I feel content when I’m pushing. Sometimes there’s a different quality to that, contentment in your striving, versus contentment in the grasping of needing for something to be a certain way than doing something just because you want to do it Sonya Looney 7:05 without needing it to have a set outcome, you can want the outcome. And Oren says that contentment starts with just noticing small moments of this, noticing how you feel, pausing long enough to notice how you feel after Sonya Looney 7:27 a warm hug, after a good conversation with somebody listening to a podcast that inspired you, tuning into nature that I was just talking about, the clear pool of water, I just saw the calm and ease that come with that. You could draw strength from chaos. Sometimes you need that chaos, or you can draw strength from that calm, intent place inside of you. I Sonya Looney 8:13 think the strength that you draw is different has a different tonality to it. Do Sonya Looney 8:24 today. Oh, it’s been a hard day, but with my kids doing all these things, doing, doing, doing, doing, Sonya Looney 8:36 frustration, frustration, frustration, overwhelm, overwhelm. I know some of you can really relate with young children Sonya Looney 8:44 or just with busy lives, with lots of inputs. I finally gave myself what I actually needed. It was to stop for one minute and lie on the couch, and I kept telling myself, I don’t have time for this. I can’t stop for one minute and lie on the couch. I have all these things I need to do. I have people asking me for things constantly. But I said, I do it. So I lay down on the couch for one minute. I close my eyes, and I felt that moment, that micro moment of ease. You know what happened? This doesn’t always happen, but my kids came in and have sat next to me quietly. They felt my energy drop from frenetic energy to that pool of inner strength, that palm, that one second they felt it. They came and they just sat with me. Sonya Looney 9:48 They hugged me, and that allowed me to feel more of that strength, that contentment, that the. Feeling of everything is right, just as it is, even though things are open the way I want, even though Sonya Looney 10:09 I’m stressed about all kinds of different things, there’s that moment of contentment. So my question for you, and this is a practice that I’ve been working on since I interviewed Oren. On that interview, I asked him specifically Sonya Looney 10:25 about contentment. Where can you notice those small moments? Contentment isn’t something you get, it’s not something that you’re going to feel. It’s fleeting, but it’s always there. Contentment is not at the opposite end of the spectrum of challenge, hurt, frustration, or even happy, positive, striving and pushing. It’s not at the opposite end of that spectrum. You can feel both. You can hold both. They don’t cancel each other out. And I think that that’s something people get wrong, is they think if I’m content, it’s going to cancel out the drive, or it’s cheating. Somehow you can have both. I I hope I explained that well enough so that you can just pay attention the feeling that you get when you lay down in bed, that first second or five seconds, the tasty, grounding feeling of that first sip of hot coffee in the morning when you don’t want to be awake you’re exhausted, a feeling of full air coming into your lungs. No, you’re riding your bike and you’re going way slower than you want to because you’re tired feeling of breathing in and breathing out. That’s contentment. It’s not a certain speed up a hill, having everything aligned perfectly. Yes, those moments feel good. There are moments of contentment in there too, but those aren’t the ones that we experience regularly. This is where the intersection with gratitude comes in with the show grow the good, seeing the good, in this case, feeling the good in yourself and others and in the world. Where do you feel it? What does it feel like? The moment for contentment? For me, it’s a dropping in feeling of I get the visual of a thermometer, actually, the mercury thermometers, the old school ones, where it’s up in the red, like in a cartoon, and the little red line just drops down to a comfortable 50 to 70 degrees. It’s a feeling I described in another podcast, of sinking down into that quiet part of the ocean, the choppy water above, but you’re the calm water underneath, but you’re still the choppy water above. You’re both. It’s the feeling of a bird chirping that I hear now, the first time I’ve heard a bird trip, the feeling of this podcast might really suck. I’m rambling forever, but Dang, this helps one person, someone’s actually listening to this, and I get to help. That’s also a contented feeling, the 10 minutes letting go of expectations, of things needing to be a certain way of you having to be a certain way. Sonya Looney 14:20 It’s being with that. So let’s drop in whether you’re moving or not noticing the body, Sonya Looney 14:38 noticing the general energy in the body you heavy, like you’re made out of wet concrete, stuck in the mud. Maybe you feel light, feel bright, you feel zesty, you feel bubbly, you feel ready to take it on. Everything’s going your. Way, maybe you should feel blah somewhere in between. Nothing is particularly exciting. Nothing feels effervescent, but it doesn’t quite feel heavy. It just feels sort of maybe it feels good and calm. Maybe it just feels stagnant. All of that is welcome, Sonya Looney 15:26 settling into that feeling, whatever it may be, Sonya Looney 15:35 scanning down, starting from the tip of your head and your ears. How tight are your ears attached to your head? Sonya Looney 15:48 Melting down a little bit the tension you’re feeling in your brow. This applies if you’re riding or running or whatever you’re doing, which tension Are you holding in your brow, Sonya Looney 16:10 letting those next few breaths you take fill your whole body. Don’t have to change how you’re breathing, but just letting them Sonya Looney 16:25 noticing how far it goes down, or if it feels good, deepening your breath a bit, letting Your belly come out, letting go of the tension you Sonya Looney 16:43 is the breathing going into your back? Any of us are front breathers, we don’t breathe in 360 Sonya Looney 16:55 now challenge you to notice how that feels, the contentment of breathing. So the luxury, that feeling of the air just coming in, filling you up, letting it out, Sonya Looney 17:22 that I can find little sips of things that are good, that are choose Buddh terminology, wholesome. Sonya Looney 17:42 I also acknowledging that the same time other things might not be how you want them. Sonya Looney 17:56 Where can I let go? I Sonya Looney 18:03 Where can I transcend these expectations that things need to be a certain way for me to be happy or content and find that everything is fine right now? Sonya Looney 18:18 You’re still struggling with this idea. I know many of us hate being off the bike or away from our activities, or even disconnected from our vitality. When we’re sick, we just say, I could just be healthy again. I’ll be so grateful you get out, you finally feel better that first ride back, or that first thing back that you were just jonesing to do might not feel like it normally does, but dang, you’re grateful, and afterward you feel content. So maybe contentment is the feeling that comes after the recognition of gratitude. I it Sonya Looney 19:09 coming back into the body with whatever you’re doing. Sonya Looney 19:19 It’s a bit tricky to record, but noticing on your ride or whatever you’re doing in your movement, where your body feels content you Sonya Looney 19:48 I feel content into my solar plexus. That’s where your diaphragm is. I. Sonya Looney 20:01 Feeling my whole body. Can’t explain it. Really, do you feel it? Sonya Looney 20:16 Noticing the feeling of being while you’re doing I maybe that’s contentment for you, the feeling of just being at home in yourself for Sonya Looney 20:42 some of you, this will be easy. For some of you, this will be very hard. Maybe just listening to today you’re like, just full of crap. I thought you Good, good. I challenge you throughout the course of the week to try to just notice one or two moments of contentment, usually, I would say, follows a moment of gratitude. I Sonya Looney 21:19 also think about intense moments when you’re stressed out and everything’s crazy, get in anything could feel contentment in that moment. I think this is a important place to remind you, like think of a pie chart with all those different percentages. Maybe contentment is 2% of that pie chart. That pie chart being your experience in the moment, but it’s still there. It’s not going to fix it, it’s not going to put a bandaid on it, but it’s there. You’d have to find it. Sonya Looney 21:55 Maybe next time that 2% will be 5% maybe 5% will be 10% maybe even that is enough to connect in your body so your shoulders drop. Sonya Looney 22:14 So much of the mental stuff, I don’t talk about the embodied part. Sonya Looney 22:22 Yes, you’re using your mind, but it’s also how it shows up in your body. The mind has incredible control over the body, and the body has so much important information that can impact your state of mind. Maybe Sonya Looney 22:41 contend it’s a way to connect that for you, everything is the way it needs to be right now Sonya Looney 22:50 it’s gonna change. Where can you find that feeling? Everything’s all right? I The being with yourself and all the things, the calm place, the useful place, the place that feels like breathing in mountain air, the place that feels like a warm hug, the place that feels like connection. Sonya Looney 23:28 Maybe it’s that place that feels like my checklist is done. Sonya Looney 23:39 Gonna leave that with you for now, leave that feeling coming back for the rest of your day, noticing those moments, those micro moments of gratitude and maybe the contentment that comes from that Sonya Looney 23:59 noticing your body’s signaling to you, realizing that contentment doesn’t mean coming to a finish line and being done. It’s a daily state that changes and fluctuates, but it’s always with you. Thanks for listening. If you’re enjoying these, please let me know I just literally turn on the record on my headphones when I’m out riding and start talking. So these are working for you great. If you want more structure, you want them to be more of a formal meditation, I can do that as well. These are more of a mindfulness practice. I just tried to share what’s on my mind, because I feel like a lot of these meditation or psychology things are a little bit disconnected from the real world. I’m just trying to make it real for you guys. I’m. With you on this journey of personal growth adventure and our mission to be better every day, maybe to be a little bit more content. I’ll see you right back here next week.