Once upon a time there was a below average wanna-be enginerd doing her impossible homework at a coffee shop. She had been depressed and gloomy for several days due to her below average performances, but decided to sit in the sun and hope that the rays would cheer her up. Sure enough, with the mountain views and fresh air, she started to feel better. Unfortunately her homework would take many hours to complete, and alas, it grew dark. She moved inside by the window. There were many different breeds of homo sapiens at the coffee shop… fratties with huge necks and backwards hats, foreign exchange students, persons with various laptops, the couple on their first date, the group of girls analyzing their relationships….. These were her companions for the baffling journey of the day…completing her power homework without going insane. Over the course of the semester, she had fallen down the rabbit hole. Instead of down Dante’s Inferno, she went deeper down the rings of angst and mania.
The heavy-hearted run of the mill girl looked up and saw the most herendous coffee shop companion of all. He was very round with about 100 keys connected to his belt, walking to the counter with a cup of steaming joe in his sweaty, pudgy hand. Then her attention focused to his head. She was temporarily blinded by an appalling, grisly haircut. The hobbit had his head shaved all around to the skin except for a curvy mushroom top hair cut. The thick blonde tufts of hair fell on his fat head only along the top portion of his skull. In the center of the golden lilypad atop his head was a bald spot. Maybe if he grew it out thick all around the bald spot and shaved around the sides of his head, the ladies wouldn’t notice he was balding. Or maybe his collection of keys were his pimptastic tool to attract the ladies. Or maybe it was the fact that his head looked like a large fallus. The engineer girl found this harder to conceive than her torturous homework. He exited the coffee shop and out into the darkness.