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BlogMindset & Personal Development

The Why of Comparison

By March 8, 2021May 30th, 2023No Comments

Awhile back, I had the antidote of comparison as my thought of the week. The gist of it was that the present moment is actually the perfect moment, not the thing you are wishing was different. I explain it in detail here.

The other day, I felt myself comparing and feeling like I wasn’t enough. We are human, we compare… but then I asked myself, “what insight can I gain from this comparison? Why do I feel not enough when I compare to this person?”

Aha! That was the most important part. We know that things like Instagram are a highlight reel of someone’s life, and you never know the full context of a story. When you compare and feel bad, it’s probably because that person has something you wish you had, and maybe you also feel like you can’t get it. When you compare and feel inspired, it’s probably because you feel like you can implement some or most of what that person has into your life. You feel empowered instead of belittled. (Generally, you want to surround yourself with people and content that makes you feel inspired… it’s okay to unfollow people if they make you feel bad about your life, even if you like them as a person.)

The reality is that you can almost always take one tiny step in the direction of what you wish you had. Sometimes it’s hard to know what we actually want, and noticing the comparing mind gives you insight into what you want. Maybe you wish you had better skin, maybe you wish you were a better technical rider, maybe you wish you were further along in your career, maybe you wish you had a dog or that you had more friends. Trying to uncover why you are feeling upset with the comparison is such a great way to turn a potential negative into something really useful.

Recognize the feeling and allow it, investigate why you feel that way, and then ask what you can do to take one baby step to the life you want. If the problem is that you want the thing, but you don’t want to put in the work to get it, then maybe you need to assess why you are afraid of hard work or change.

I encourage you to give it a try this week! Notice that you’ve just compared yourself and how you feel. Then ask, “What does this make me feel bad? What do I actually want, and am I willing to put in the work to get there?”

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